Breastfeeding and sex can bring out all types of issues, insecurities and excuses why mom and dad can't be intimate. You just need to adapt your sex life around your new body, and to your life of being a new mommy.
Many moms are concerned about their breast milk leaking during sex, about a low libido during breastfeeding and also about what their breasts will look like after breastfeeding.
After birth and during breastfeeding, a mom goes through many hormonal changes which can put a lot of strain on your relationship with your partner, the best thing would be to talk to each other about the way you feel.
Things that can sometimes put moms off of sex during breastfeeding periods
- You might feel physically sensitive or “overstimulated” In which case you feel that you just don’t want anyone touching you
- You might notice a decrease in vaginal lubrication which can cause pain during sex
- You might eject or leak milk during sex
Why do some women eject milk during love making?
The hormone oxytocin is responsible for the milk let down reflex and is also released during an orgasm, it is often called the love hormone since it is also responsible for a woman feeling as if she wants to be cuddled or feeling as if she wants to cuddle her baby.
Some couples really feel excited when this happens while others don’t feel comfortable with it at all. Moms can always wear a bra and breast pads during sex or can breastfeed baby before lovemaking, this will also help as your breasts will be empty.
“vaginal dryness breastfeeding”
Does the vaginal dryness indicate that my libido is low?
No, not at all, estrogen levels are low during breastfeeding and can cause some dryness, there are vaginal lubricants that can be used during these times. KY Jelly , Astroglide , and Replens are some products made specifically for this purpose.
Why do I feel like I just don’t want anyone touching me?
Sometimes when a mother breastfeeds her baby around the clock she can sometimes feel as if she is touched too much. All you need to do is let your husband know what it is you want and how you want it! ;-) Breastfeeding and sex can work harmoniously together, just give it a shot.
Are my breasts going to become saggy from breastfeeding?
Most of the change in breasts are actually not from breastfeeding, but caused through pregnancy.
“low libido breastfeeding”
Does breastfeeding decrease a woman's libido?
Not everyone’s libido while breastfeeding is the same, research shows that half of all breastfeeding moms find that their sexual desire increases during breastfeeding periods and other mothers say that they have a loss of libido, and no desire whatsoever.
Low estrogen in a breastfeeding mom is what prevents ovulation and is what causes you to have a lower desire for sex and it also causes the vaginal dryness.
Other factors that can contribute to feeling like you just don’t want to have sex during breastfeeding periods…
- Too tired to have sex? Being tired, especially if baby is not sleeping right through the night
- A combo of Breastfeeding and sex is not always possible because of time restraints, where mom and dad are busy all the time and then don’t feel up to making love when they have some time to rest.
- Feeling emotionally spent on your children
- Sometimes breastfeeding and birth can also cause a thinning of membranes in the vaginal area which can be very uncomfortable during sex.
- Mom not feeling sexy because of saggy skin and stretch marks, and almost always some extra fat! Moms need to try and give themselves a break during this time, stop worrying about getting your body into shape, it will happen…take it slow...read more on weight loss while breastfeeding
- Pain from childbirth, back or neck pain from nursing and headaches from lack of sleep can contribute
Things that can help for successful sex and breastfeeding
- Try other positions, sometimes if your breasts are sore or swollen it could help to consider a spooning position or hands and knees position.
- If you dislike your partner touching your breasts, let him know about it.
- Communicate with your partner and let him know how you are feeling
- Know that your sex drive will come back again!
How to have a sexual relationship when co sleeping
It’s really difficult to concentrate on your lovemaking when your baby is sleeping right next to you, and sometimes you will be interrupted as well. Mom and dad need to maybe find a different room when the occasion arises ;-)
Also another solution could be to get a “side bed” for baby to sleep in that is right next to the bed and baby will be just an arm reach away.
Finally if you just can’t seem to bring yourself to have sex then try to find other ways of being intimate like…
- Taking a bath together
- Hug as often as you can
- Get somebody to look after baby at least once a month so that you and hubby can go out for dinner or a movies.
- Make food together
- Watch a movie at home while baby is taking a nap
Want to share your stories? Ask a question or just say hello...
The Breast Crawl ~ Watch a baby crawl to the breast on their own immediately after birth!