bugs me about not nursing

by Stephanie

I am SO glad I found this. As someone with a Master's degree in child development and whose entire extended family is in the medical field, I still feel guilt about being unable to breastfeed.

Currently my youngest is 5 months old, and it obviously still bugs me about not nursing, that I am writing here. When my son (now 3y) was born, I bought the $300 pump, all the nursing clothes and accessories, and was completely shocked when I never produced milk. It became the hourly phone call -- has your milk come in...NO. I even tried 2 different lactation consultants and herbal suppliments - nothing worked. It was only then that my mom (an RN) told me that neither she nor either of my grandmothers was able to produce milk.

When my daughter (5 mo) was born, I was determined to try even harder with additional support from lactation consultants, additional herbs, additional equipment (SNS, hospital pump, etc). It was interesting to see the lactatation consultants start with the montra "everyone can nurse" then slowly recommend more and more formula as my daughter became completely dehydrated.

The most I was ever able to pump in a day was 2 oz. with my daughter nursing to the point that she was just sucking blood (then spitting it up resulting in me rushing her to the ER thinking that my newborn was spitting up blood). With a 5 month old infant, I still receive looks/judgment from co-workers (I work in the medical field), family, and others for not nursing. I would LOVE to nurse, and realize that breast is best...but would someone please do a research study on moms who truly can't make milk? It also makes me extremely scared/thankful. What if there was no formula? I have easy pregnancies and deliveries. Would I have just had a string of starved babies???

Again, it seems as if the medial community is in complete denial of the fact that some women are just unable to produce milk, and this should be treated with compassion, just like any other medical condition.

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