even though I can not breastfeed i am a good mother
My daughter is 7 months old. She is formula feeding.
I tried breastfeeding when she was born, but i didn't start producing milk until 5 days after she was born. But somehow when I used a pump, the most milk I got was 1/2 an oz.
I was never able to get my baby to latch on. I tried everything the lactation consultants told me, but nothing worked.
I felt terrible because I know how important breastmilk is, but I just was not capable. I felt, and still feel like I could have if I wouldn't have given up.
I sometimes cry about it feeling guilty. Maybe it's because I'm a young mom. I feel better, though, to know I'm not alone.
That it wasn't my fault. It just couldn't happen for me. This support group has really helped me.
Reading everyone's stories, and seeing how everyone struggled shows me that I am a good mother even though I can't breastfeed.
the decision to switch to formula
I gave birth to my first child almost 9 months ago!
It was the best day of my life when I got to hold my daughter in my arms!
We went with a midwife so therefore went all natural. It was one of the most intense births, even my midwives agreed.
Almost immediately I knew breastfeeding was going to be difficult because she didn't want to latch.
Since we had her at a birth house. We were sent home four hours after she was born. It was 230am by the time we got home. I was exhausted!!!
The moment she woke up to eat she latched, but she sucked so hard it hurt. As the day progressed anytime she would try to latch, she couldn't.
She would get frustrated, push away from me and scream. The moments she did latch it hurt and then after only a few moments she would pull away and scream.
I knew something was wrong that evening and the following two days I met with my midwives for help (we couldn't afford an LC).
One night after 7hr of not even wanting to try to eat, we gave her 2oz of formula.
She sucked it down in no time and for the first time she had a look of satisfaction on her face.
The following day my milk came in or so I thought. She still wanted nothing to do with breastfeeding.
We tried everything to get her to latch. I even pumped but after 40min I only produced about 1T of milk both breasts combined!!
On mother day (5days after she was born). I made the decision to switch to formula. It was the hardest decision. To make it worse my MIL and SIL didn't support my decision.
I was completely overwhelmed with emotions and to this day I still mourn over my inability to give my daughter the nourishment that is "best".
However, I continue to remind myself that I have and will continue to feed her with my love!!
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No growth in breast tissue or milk production
by Katie R
(Collinsville, IL, USA)
At the end of the comment section I noticed your website/article's note "To those first time moms that couldn't breastfeed, please don't be discouraged. Know that the second time, is really much easier as breast tissue grows with each pregnancy, making it easier for your body to produce milk the second time around."
Please take a look into the facts or possible re-wright this to make it less of a blanket statement. It is not necessarily "really much easier" with subsequent pregnancies for all women.
I have had two beautiful and healthy FORMULA children and did not have any growth in breast tissue or milk production with either pregnancy.
I am pregnant with my third and through the first trimester got very excited as my breasts were unusually tender and "full" feeling. I am just into the second trimester and that is gone.
I will try to breast feed our third immediately after birth and for a few days to get all the colostrum into our baby, I WILL supplement because I know my body.(Now, if it should surprise me and I become an engorged breastly beast, I am all for it!)
But this statement flies almost in the face of what you are giving women empowerment to say to the nay-sayers.
I do think more studies on genetics should be done. I recently was speaking with my maternal grandmother and she was unable to produce milk with her first and third.
My mother was able to produce and choose to feed her children for 6 weeks before going back to work full time.
Maybe it skips a generation? Or maybe biological/anatomical studies need to be done.
I had a lactation consultant come into my room after my second was born because I needed her help to tell the nurses "Shut Up and give that baby formula" and she examined my breasts and told me I had "wide set breasts with inadequate tissue mass" (tiny and no cleavage).
I felt like I finally had an answer, but still got the "She's crazy" looks from people in the hospital and outside world. You know what though? I decided I was not going to care anymore. What do those people know of me and my family and my love for my children? DIDDLEY SQUWAT, that's what.
So hang in there ladies! You can still bond with your baby during bottle feeding (and we won't get saggy boobs!) and we can have others help us out with feedings. Let go of the stress and ENJOY this new little life. Blessings!!!