Cold Feet in the Morning - I am just gonna enjoy these last few moments

by Stephanie
(Tallahassee, Florida USA)

I can’t believe that Penelope will be 4 soon. Where has the time gone? I mean, it’s been a well lived and full 4 years, I have done my darnedest to be present and live each moment to the fullest with her. Experiencing loss sure makes you appreciate every second with the one you’ve got. Yet, time still seems to just slip through my hands.

As I quickly approach the time when we are going to get serious about trying to get pregnant again, I am thinking about the end of Penelope’s babyhood.

Really that ended almost a year ago, as postpartum is three years, but I feel like when/if I get pregnant again, that is when her babyhood will truly end. It will be time for me to shift gears and focus less on her and more on myself and growing a healthy baby.

It is going to be a hard balancing act since she still co-sleeps with me half the night and still nurses to sleep and upon waking in the morning.

Penelope had started sleeping through the night and in her own room at age 2, but since we moved earlier this year she now wakes up all hours of the night like she was a 12 month old again.

I thought we were done with our co-sleeping days, but now she thinks my room is her bedroom again. She is still not used to our new house, and I am hopeful that soon she will get back to her routine, but because we let her know that she was always welcome in our bed anytime she needed it, we have stuck to our word. We are not doing any sleep training tactics or working on getting her back into her bed. I know she will go back when she is ready.

On the other hand, I am not sure Penelope will let me know when she is ready to be done with nursing. I always assumed I would let her make the decision but now I am not so sure. Before we moved, I was feeling very done with nursing. I was ready to have my body back and I wanted to have a couple of months of not having to give or lend out my body in anyway to a small child. And with my history of miscarriage, I don’t think I will want to nurse during pregnancy just to be on the safe side.

But I also love the idea of nursing her through my pregnancy and then being able to actually give her my milk when it comes back in when baby arrives. I love the idea of giving her a cup full of healthy liquid gold. If she weans or I wean her before the next baby arrives, I plan on pumping for her to give her a cup of breastmilk once the new baby comes.

I don’t know what the future will hold. I always intended on letting her self wean, but now at almost 4, I am very nervous and uncomfortable about the idea nursing a 5 year old, or a 6 year old. Even though intellectually I know the world’s average age for weaning is around 5 years old, it’s just still so socially unacceptable here.

Where would I draw the line? Would she ever draw the line herself? Or because of her SPD and personality, is she is the kind of kid that would never wean unless given some pressure and gentle nudging.

I fully support women who do child led weaning and when I see other women nurse an older child it doesn’t make me uncomfortable, I just worry what other people will think of me.

I am such a weirdo as it is, you would think I would be used to standing out, but truth is I want to be liked and not judged just like everyone else. And I worry about what people would think of her, now that she is in real school.

I’m cool with being the wierdo, but I don’t want her to feel like a wierdo. But then I also don’t want to make a decision out of fear or worry of what other people will think of us. Because if someone doesn’t like me because I am still nursing, then they are not someone I want to be around anyway. But it is still a tough a call!

All I know is that right now I am over my need to have my body back, I enjoy nursing her to sleep and when she wakes up. I enjoy seeing her sweet face first thing in the morning.

It’s been a rough summer with lots of changes and it is the one thing that has stayed constant, safe and comforting. I am grateful I am comforting to her in this way.

And as much as I would like to not be woken up at 11pm or 2am or 5am to the sound of Penelope’s feet pitter pattering on the tile as she makes her way across the house, and then crawling in my bed and asking for some nunnies, I am relishing in the feeling of her cold feet when she curls up next to me. The sound of her heavy breath as she nurses and falls back to sleep. The feeling of her body warming up next to mine, her feet slowly warming as she lays nexts to me and drinks in the comfort of our heart to heart energetic connection that is so easily accessed by nursing. The comfort that only I can give her.

I know that just like she will go back to her own bed when gets back to feeling safe and secure in our new home, she will get to a point where she doesn’t need nursing for safety and security and we will find other ways to maintain our loving energetic exchange.

So I am just gonna enjoy these last few moments before I become a widow to her babyhood, and head back to the motherhood journey starting line all over again.

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Oct 23, 2013
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so beautiful
by: Tracy

What a beautful article. Thank you for sharing.

Feel free to come share your thoughts again.

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beautiful Khaleesi

by Kelsey Halenar
(El Paso TX)


copyright Reid Decker

Best job ever...

(A mommy breastfeeding her baby)

Please feel free to leave your own breastfeeding pictures and comments below...

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Aug 20, 2012
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photographer
by: Anonymous

First photo taken by Reid Decker.

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Loving my bonding time :)

by Kyrstin
(Hannibal OH )

Breastfeeding my 2 week old

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three years and counting!! WOOO WOOO

by poapoujwer

It has been three years and then some since my last period. I said sayonara to my last period in August of 2011 and here it is May of 2015!

Worried you might ask?? not on you life. I would be happy if the darn thing simply vanished all together!

The only thing I do is breastfeed my little one (not so little anymore) whenever she feels like it. Some women who do not breastfeed choose not to for some really sad reasons.

I think being a woman in this day and age we sometimes forget what function our breasts serve. Sure men like'em, but the real purpose of these mammary glands is to sustain the precious life of our next generation.

It saddens me to see women who are too afraid to breastfeed their own flesh and blood. all that nutritional and bonding factors down the tubes. A complete waste of what nature intended.

It saves money and in the end, your breasts actually look better than if you didn't breastfeed at all. its true! after you breastfeed for the last time and your breasts go back to normal, they will be fuller and more shapely than if you didn't nurse.

Have you ever heard that babies who are breastfed are more healthy than babies who are not?? its because through breast milk, a mothers body will product the antibiotics and immunities to many different illnesses the baby may have been susceptible to if he wasn't breastfed.

Ever heard of breastfed babies having higher IQs?? studies show that babies who are breastfed have significantly higher IQs than babies who are not. Also scientists have done studies on SIDs and babies who are breastfed. Babies who are breastfed are far less likely to die of SIDs than babies who are bottle fed. The reason is that bottle fed babies tend to be deep sleepers and may not be aware they have stopped breathing. Babies who nurse are more easily rouse at discomfort. wait wait wait, so youre telling me that breastfeeding can possibly save my baby's life???? Im a super hero!!! but all that aside, isn't the human body amazing???

Simply having your baby against your body can have an effect on your menstrual cycle. your baby can just "think" of feeding and your breasts will produce milk. ok ok so maybe not just "think" about it, but if she simply touches just one of your breasts you will produce milk!! isnt it amazing???

And for all you pregnant ladies out there. you are all gorgeous! the best thing you can do for your baby is give him the best start in life. there is nothing on the face of the planet more perfectly nutritious than a mother's milk. Stay away from formula! it's too expensive and overrated. Bond with your baby. dont be afraid of it! just close your eyes and jump!!

Comments for three years and counting!! WOOO WOOO

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May 11, 2015
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What a beautiful encouraging message
by: Tracy

Hi!

Thanks so much for sharing this! Beautiful!

Oct 27, 2015
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Two and Counting Here!
by: Anonymous

Thanks, for the post...am I delusional to think we can try for another and still keep breastfeeding??

I'm trying to take extra vitamins in hopes of encouraging ovulation? I'm at such a loss but I'm also not ready to fully wean.

Baby typically only breast feeds at nap time and night time (but wakes often to breastfeed at night)

Dec 23, 2015
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Follow up
by: Anonymous

Very cool! I've been breastfeeding for 5 years. No regular periods, and now none for a year!
I'm 44, so assumed menopause? But now I'm
thinking that with recent weaning and what appears to be an ovulatory month, that perhaps my uterus "woke up" from a deep sleep?
Did you have any symptoms of menosuse, like hot flashes etc during your long break from periods?

Thank you for posting your thoughts. I agree!


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my baby is so sexy

by christie remirez
(paris,france)

She has a cute and soft bottom
:):):)

----------------
"Thanks"
by Tracy

"Hi, christie
Thanks for leaving your cute pic!"

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Apr 04, 2014
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your cute baby
by: Tracy

Hi!

Why don't you share a pic with us! Show us how beautifull your baby is! ;-)

A picture is worth more than a thousand words

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Lisa, (o) (O) platinum

by Lisa

Platinum, tandem feeding a 3.5 year old and 15 month old, with no end in sight, been breastfeeding for over 9 years so far

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really enjoy breastfeeding

by rosa
(bx,nyc.)

my fatty fats pooh bear

my fatty fats pooh bear

I really enjoy breastfeeding my five month old son Nahvee,its a bond only me and him can share.my little princess always ask mommy can i help lol:)i find that so adorable

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beautifully breastfed

by Brandy Hopper
(Curtice, ohio)

nursing my Daniel

nursing my Daniel

My name is Brandy. I am the mommy of three beautiful children, 2 girls and my newest my 4 month old son Daniel.

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minyak telon breastfeeding makes me feel so happy

by lusiana
(jakarta,Indonesia)

Hello. I am a mom with 4 month pretty baby. it's so wonderful to be a new mom and nurse her.

Breastfeeding make me feel so happy and make me think that I'm the happiest mom in this world when I see her eyes face to my eyes during the breastfeeding.

When she gets cold, I always drop any breasts milk into her nose and keep my room with traditional oil, in Indonesia it's called "minyak telon". breastmilk is gold nutrition for our babies.

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Mourning exclusive BF

by Sophie
(Québec City, CAN)

I had always been told that it was IMPOSSIBLE to have low milk supply because of small breasts...

This turns out not to be true. After trying everything.... and I mean EVERYTHING (pumping, lactation consultant, massage, domperidone, feeding every two hours, and so on) to breastfeed my baby, I still had to supplement with formula after two months because of low weight gain.

I had to mourn the exclusive breastfeeding I had hoped for so much...

If you can't BF exclusively, it is hard not to feel guilty and inadequate but eventually, you realize that baby is better off gaining the appropriate weight, even if it is from formula... which after all is not bad at all...

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Feb 03, 2013
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Good Attitude
by: Anonymous

I am so glad that you do not feel guilty about having to supplement. The baby's health is the important factor.

While I would like to point out that having small breasts does not automatically mean low milk supply (my cousin breast feel successfully and she has very small breasts), low milk supply does exist.

We are made to feel like breast feeding is natural and there is something wrong with us if we cannot solely breast feed. So I feel good for you that you are just happy to see your baby gaining weight and you knowing that you gave it your best!

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So cute!

This is so sweet!


------------------
By Tracy

"I think so too!" ;-) Thank you for leaving your comment!"

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Sons first feeding

by mindy blackhurst
(orem)

MY SON

MY SON

Hi everyone I love the bond of breastfeeding my children

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My munchkin

by Michaela
(IL)


!

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Breastfeeding suddenly over

by Hannah
(Texas)

I was in a car accident about 4 months ago and since that day I haven't breastfed my baby of (now) 8months.

The Doctors and my family told me that if I was going to make a full recovery I needed to dry my milk up so that those calories would not be wasted during the healing process.

It was a hard thing to do but after a month I was finally dry.

I am still recovering but now the issue is not losing calories but rather that the pain meds I need would get into the breast milk if I relactate.

I have always had a heart for mothers who cannot produce enough milk and I used to donate to a milk bank... Now I can relate in a way I never thought I would.

It's the most horrible feeling. The worst part is that when I try to talk to anyone about it they don't seem to realize that losing our nursing relationship is such a painful thing even though I was able to nurse from the start.

I understand that I don't have it as bad as others but this still hurts. So I also feel guilty for being sad about it. I miss it so much. My baby doesn't even remember how to nurse or what my breasts are anymore.

I'm so sorry for people who have to go through this. It's so much worse than every injury I sustained in the accident.


-Hannah

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Apr 19, 2016
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Sudden changes
by: Anonymous

As a nursing mom I can begin to understand how important this is.

I'm so sorry, I wish medical community and people in general were not so ignorant about nursing.

Be kind to yourself and tell your obgyn you had to quit nursing suddenly as this makes you at risk for postpartum depression, even if your baby is not newborn. Loss of nursing can alter hormones and mood.

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Love it

by Shanell
(Detroit, MI)


The greatest moments for me is being able to nourish my babies from my own body :)

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Me and my sweet daugther,,,,

by Maya Spielberg
(New York)


After two boys it was qyuite a big chnage to have a daughter!

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She Looks Familier

by Sara Lawson

Is the little girl on the right of the picture with the breast milk lollies called phoebe? I work in childcare and she looks very familiar?

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Feb 18, 2013
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my little one
by: Tracy, CBC, CLD (CBI)

Hi Sara

No, the little girl in the picture is my little girl, her name is Lisa and she is now much older than in the picture, she is now almost 2. ;-) (we live in South Africa)


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Greatful Grandmother advice and encouragement

by Barbara Simpson
(France)

Thank You for All this advice and encouragement - I'm passing it on to the New parents of my latest grandson.

I had breastfed three for nine months, but had Known nothing about breastfeeding problems that CAN exist.

À lot is common sense, but doctors tend to blame thé mother's milk, and recommend à bottle, which is very discouraging and saying 'it Will Pass' is difficult when, at each feed, night and Day, for months, You havé to deal with à 'dissatisfied' baby !

Thé practical tips and explanations Will help à breastfeeding mother Who wants to do her best ....

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