Emma

by Emma
(Newark)

My little boy is 6 months and still this upsets me so much, i feel like a bad mum and a failure as a woman. i struggled giving birth as James was in the back to back position so he was born using forceps. Because of the epidural taking so long to wear off the nurses pretty much did everything for James when he was born i feel that initial bond just wasn`t there. I never produced any milk at all not a drop it just didn`t happen. James didnt feed for over 24hrs so was put on formula. No body once explained to me why this happened or offered any support, breastfeeding is just expected there was no advice on which formula to give. When i got home i just cried i had no formula in had no idea how to work the steriliser i felt totally useless. My baby was hungry and i couldnt give him what he needed.

He is a healthy very happy little boy and being bottle fed has had no impact on him at all its the impact it has had on me that is so hard. I am now weaning James and he loves his food but i am so scared it will be something else i fail at. I can not believe in this day and age there is so little help out there for women who just simply could not breastfeed. Instead we are frowned upon as so people who are lazy and just choose the easy option!!