Exhausted single mom of two/pumping exclusively
I'm a single mom of two and currently tied to a pump, trying desperately to give my two week old daughter the little milk I make.
She couldn't latch or transfer milk, so my lactation consultants started me pumping, finger feeding, and ultimately bottle feeding. I am taking fenugreek, a milk supplement, and a tea.
My supply has doubled...to just below an ounce every three hours. I have had a breast reduction and revision and was unable to feed my first child.
He, however, latched like a pro and was fine nursing for drops then taking a bottle. I knew I would likely have a supply issue; I never ever thought about my daughter not latching.
And everyone keeps telling me to keep trying. I can't pick her up when I'm on the pump. I can't be with my son because I'm trying to sleep. And at 12 weeks I go back to work.
My ob has doubled my zoloft because I'm so depressed and disappointed. I can't go anywhere or do anything because my daughter and the pump are not in sync. I am trying to convince myself 4 weeks is enough but if anything happened to her that they tie back to formula (lets face it...from SIDS to a cough they can blame not breastfeeding)
I couldn't live with myself. However, I'm not easy to live with now. I'm a mess.