give yourself permission to do what is right for your child.

by Tara

I had four children and tried to breastfeed each of them unsuccessfully. I sought help from a lactation nurse, my midwife, my doctor and with each child I thought this time it will work.


But alas it did not. I simply would never "let down". My breasts would get swollen but not engorged. My midwife, the dear lady, finally "gave me permission" to stop trying. What a relief!

My four children are now ages 10-21 and are healthy well adjusted kids/adults. Formula does not appear to have hurt them in the slightest. I do find it interesting that after my youngest was a toddler my mother informed me that neither she or my grandmother were capable of nursing.

I Wish she had said something sooner but it does help give me additional relief that this "problem" was not me just doing it wrong.

It was likely a physical trait I inherited. Just like every other part of raising kids a mom needs to trust her instincts.

No-one else can really know your child or your situation better than you. It may not always be best to breastfeed. Trust yourself and give yourself permission to do what is right for your child.

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enough was enough

by Kayla

I got lucky that I have a disposition of knowing that I do what I can and put my all into things when the time calls and if thats not good enough...well to put it nicely...sucks!

What more can you do than your best right? Lol so I'm not sure if people didn't judge me because they knew that or because I didn't pay attention because I could not breastfeed.

If I could've I would've. My nipples bled for two weeks because I turned to solely pumping and was only making 2 ounces.

I hurt so bad and every second was worth it but if someone would have said "some girls can't breastfeed" I would have quit a lot sooner because I knew in my heart I was giving it my all and my sons drs weren't helpful or comforting or constructive.

I did my own research and decided we were both suffering and enough was enough.

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Not able to breastfeed my baby

by Khushboo
(India)

I am also suffering from the same problem. After giving birth to my baby girl, I am not able to her feed her.

I try a lot, but the milk is not coming. I use pumps, medicine, herbal tea everything that i can do, but no results come, its so depressing.

Feeling incomplete....I cry at night when my girl is hungry, I can't feed her.

That feeling breaks you down. Don't know what to do. I give her formula milk. There is no option to me.

Everybody thought i don't want to feed my baby, but my heart knows the pain of not feeding my baby. My love is not less by not feeding. I love my little girl.
Khushboo Deoraj

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mothers in the same situation

by Joce

So glad to find a support group like this...my baby boy just turned 6 weeks and I have struggled to breastfeed since he was born. I'm a first time mom and went into my pregnancy "knowing" I was only going to feed him breast milk, whether it be nursing or pumping and bottle feeding...well when by day 5 I was barley producing any milk I started to really stress, which I've read makes things worse...I started to supplement with formula. This made me feel terrible and I started to get very depressed.

My husband begged me to just quit trying and go exclusively to formula. But I couldn't bring myself to do that, I wanted to be able to provide for me baby. As the weeks have passed milk supply just stayed the same, even after taking herbal remedies and pumping after nursing, I was only producing maybe 4 ounces a day between both breasts.

I wasn't going to stop trying until I read other mothers in the same situation. And now I think i can stop trying and just enjoy my baby, knowing im not alone and that formula fed babies can be just as healthy and happy as breastfed babies.

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as long as mum and baby are healthy and happy

by CharlotteCharlotte
(UK)

I'm so glad pages like this exist! I too had my heart set on exclusive breastfeeding-I was so excited for that magical bonding experience with my baby.

After a very difficult and slow labour my son and I were both exhausted-I tried for hours after delivery to feed him with encouragement from the midwives and doctors.

He just could not get the hang of it-after cup feeding him a couple of times I was reassured that eventually he would latch on and I was still encouraged.

However after several hours I was told that we would not be allowed to go home until they had seen him feed one way or the other. I was devastated!

This put a lot of pressure on me to get him to feed and I was really stressed! (Probably making things a million times worse!) I tried all night-hand expressing colostrum and dropping it into his mouth via a syrynge-I saw midwife after midwife each with a different technique and suggestion, but we still couldn't do it.

By the following morning, with still no sleep I gave in to formula and was discharged. I was determined to continue at home-I saw midwives, community support and nurses and still couldn't get the hang of it-he just couldn't latch on.

I felt like such a failure and it was really upsetting-by then my milk had come in and I was expressing as much as I could and topping him up with formula.

This worked for a few weeks but as his appetite increased it was getting too much-I found myself either feeding or expressing and getting no quality time with my son whatsoever.

I was truly devastated. Luckily my husband and midwives were really encouraging and supportive and explained how lucky I was to be able to have the option to provide my son with an alternative feeding method.

I later found out that my son has a laryngeal stridor (this does not cause him problems and at 5 months old he has grown out of it) this would have made it difficult to breastfeed according to research I have read.

I think as mums wanting to breastfeed there is an awful lot of pressure to justify why you are bottle feeding-I still feel the urge to tell the whole story when asked on our chosen feeding method-ridiculous I know, I have come to appreciate that as long as mum and baby are healthy and happy-there isn't really a great deal else to worry about!

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No Milk Ducts!

by Bec

I have read everyone's comments and in my eyes you are all lucky to a certain extent.

least you got to have the feeling of breast feeding even if it was fleeting. in my circumstance my body can produce enough milk to feed my baby and more but during my development as a child my milk ducts did not develop and thus I have no way of getting the milk out of my breast.

I have had to take medications throughout my whole pregnancy to stop the production of milk. it was extremely frustrating knowing that i was stopping something that would have been beneficial for my child.

And the worst was that even though the nurses knew i could not... they gave me a hard time over it!!

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