I developed preeclampsia and had no breastmilk
I felt breast changes during pregnancy, I bought the nursing bras, the nursing pads, the breast milk freezer bags. I was so excited to try breastfeeding. But at 36 weeks I developed preeclampsia and was put on bed rest for two weeks until I had to have a c section.
I never experienced labor, my daughter was born two weeks early and due to her small size(5lbs 8)and the epidural she was sleepy.
After my section I didn't see her for over an hour, which is the best time to start breastfeeding.
When I did finally try, she was forced onto me by a rather rough nurse.
My milk supposedly came in and they weighed her before and after a feeding and said she drank 4 oz. I was elated!
But from then on nothing. I tried every position, they checked her mouth, her latching, I saw the lactation consultants.
They brought in the pump and still nothing. I tried hand compression, barely a thing. We hadn't even left the hospital and she had dropped to 4lbs 11oz and we could see her fontanels on her head.
At home, I still had no milk, my pump only produced 1oz between both breasts. I tried two herbs and a prescription with very minimal improvement.
My lactation consultant eventually advised us to supplement with formula because she was worried about her development. But, not with a bottle, because God forbid she get nipple confusion.
So I had to do two separate feedings, one with breast milk, one with formula so we knew she was getting all the breast milk (which was usually less than an oz). It was put in a syringe attached to a tube taped to my finger, and she would suck on my finger to eat.
Unfortunately the milk came so fast down the tube that when put to breast, she would get frustrated and pull away constantly and cry.
After about six weeks of feeding her like this I decided to go on birth control, but wanted one that would be safe while "breastfeeding". I was told it was safe, but would decrease my supply.
That was the last straw, and I stopped the pumping and breastfeeding and syringe feeding that day.
She gulped her formula from a bottle and it was the most beautiful thing I'd seen in a long time. My baby had a full belly.
I don't know why my milk never really came in, I didn't even become engorged when I stopped. No one had any answers, it just makes you feel like some way some how it's all your fault.
I tried literally everything, but I still feel guilty that I could've done more or done things differently.