I just couldn't get any milk!
Okay. I must comment on this one. I had a normal delivery without even an epidural. Hence breastfeeding never seemed like a task to me.... I was sadly mistaken.
I just couldn't get any milk! In the hospital, I sat and fed my baby for 45 mins on each breast. The nurses gave my daughter a kind of formula that helped a bit. But whenever I would try, my nipples would get soooo sore and painful and start bleeding. Besides my sutures hurt when I sat on them. I also had loose motions because of some antibiotic.
I was so sad depressed and fatigued. To add pain, my sutures started opening up because of constant pressure while I fed my baby. I was put on everything that could increase milk flow. I tried hard so hard. To the point I started developing hard boils due to the heat.
My mother and especially my mother-in-law made it very difficult for me. My Mom-in-law told me that I was not not drinking enough milk to stimulate the flow. I was so depressed all the time. Finally I even bought a breast pump, it was then that I realized that I was able to pump only 1-2 ml at a time. No wonder my poor hardworking baby sucked for hours.
My heart went out to my daughter. My husband bought NAN 1 on the 3rd day. Problem solved. I never looked back. My baby just gobbled up the milk hungrily. I still would try feeding her the 1-2 ml that I would pump. She was majorly only on NAN1. Finally 2 months down the line I had completely STOPPED! I am glad I made that choice.
I realized that other mothers had their baby on each breast for 5-10 mins and they were done. Whereas I would sit for nearly 90 mins only to sit back to breastfeed in another 15 mins. Trust me it is just not worth it making yourself feel less of a woman trying this. I did go through a very bad phase where I blamed myself. Then one fine day I felt that this attitude was more damaging than the problem itself.
Producing milk doesn't make me a better mother. Loving my child makes me. I wiped my tears and grew confident in my new found assurance. So please girls don't kill yourself over this.... I also feel that women are the worst...instead of supporting you, they make you feel bad. My baby was healthy, happy and less irritable because she was well fed. My first month with the baby was painful and depressing! I cant believe I went through all this. Now I make sure I can support other women.