it took me years to come to grips

by Sabrina

Wow, finally people who care and have been through this too. My first was a new experience no change in my breast and I was worried but the dr said it will come in. The first week home with my darling was exhausting, feeding sleeping, feeding. Went for a two week check up and we were admitted to the hospital because she was losing so much weight. I cried so many nights feeling like a bad mom, it took me years to come to grips. When i got pregnant again, I was planning to breast feed, armed with consultants and ideas, ready with medication and the dr knowing. I would sit and feed for an hour and she would want to eat again in 20 min, so the cycle has started again. By one week she was on formula and its the hardest decision to make. I hate going out and seeing bf moms or commercials on tv because I feel like a failure. I am still working through the emotions, the anger and sadness, but I keep reminding my self I have a healthy happy baby now and thats what matters.