my decision to now formula feed

by loraine

I had my baby 6 weeks ago and breastfeeding is a trauma.

The most I produce when I pump is 50 to 60 ml. Feedings take well over an hour 15 mins each breast, then top up with formula. It kills me, I worry over not solely breastfeeding as I really wanted to do this.

However, with feedings taking so long it wears us out and we never seem to have even a minute of playtime.

Had I not taken the decision to also supplement with formula in the hospital the situation would have been worse for my baby. All the nurses kept forcing her to my breast and she was not getting anything, was told my nipples were wrong, I was not doing it properly and at one point was having baby forced to breast when was in the process of throwing up.

However, this whole episode is very stressful for such little milk at each feed.

My delivery was very stressful emergency c section and in late pregnancy got a rash on my breasts which I am sure also affected my milk.

Until the rash came my breasts felt they were going the right way. The rash came and this all stopped. I feel really guilty now all this talk of breast is best which I know, but time taken to feed for such little amount tears me apart every time I feed from day 1 of feeding.

All the worry over if she will be affected by my decision to now formula feed. I don't think people really understand and disapprove when they see the bottle. What should be such a special time has caused a lot of heartache and guilt.

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