Once I stop it's really over
I had twin baby girls 2 months ago. They came early and by c-section and spent 2 1/2 weeks in the nicu.
The doctors asked if i was ok with them getting formula as be breast milk had not come in yet. I decided it was best for the babies to get the formula and helped that my breast milk would come in shortly.
I took 8 days to get anything. All the nurses and doctors said that it would come in and to just keep pumping.
I pumped every 2 hours for the first week and a half. It almost killed me. I was getting no sleep and was stressed about my babies health and not being able to produce milk.
They stayed on formula with me giving them what milk i got. After 3 weeks my milk just stopped. I pumped and pumped and got only drops.
I am now taking herbal supplements, pumping and putting the babies to the breast as often as I can, but am only getting about 4 ml a day. I am crying all the time and feel horrible that I can't provide for my babies.
I want to hold them to me and feed them, but the milk just isn't there. They are still small and on a high calorie diet to help them but on weight, so I worry about tiring them out by having them suck on a breast that can't give them nutrition.
My husband is very supportive of an decision I make, but I feel stuck. I don't want to stop trying to get milk. Once I stop it's really over and I'm not sure how to deal with that.