I would never want anybody to know, but I often wish that I could still breastfeed. I would be mortified if anyone had to find out how I feel about it. I loved breastfeeding, and my mother breastfed me up until I was 4, ever since I've wanted to resume breastfeeding. I've asked her many times!
It is not a joke. I can still remember the taste of breast milk, and the comfort I felt at the breast. It's powerful stuff. I know that I can't breastfeed now and that to fantasize (not in a sexual way) about it is not a good thing, but I just can't help myself.