Ali Wong's Breastfeeding Analogies & Jokes

Ali Wong

Ali Wong is now well-known for her over-the-top, but accurate breastfeeding and motherhood analogies. She compares her breasts to the Bellagio Fountains, comparing a clogged duct to “a kidney stone in your titty." She says discovering how to breastfeed is like learning to parallel-park your car. 

She talks about how breastfeeding is not free and shares a story about her expensive, middle-aged-hippie lactation consultant. 

Ali confided in Marie Baldonado about her fears of disappearing from the stand-up scene, if she were to have a baby. She said that "If you skip a week you really revert, you get worse." She was fearful of eventually stopping stand-up altogether. In the end, she did take a six-week long break after having her baby, which was her longest break from stand-up yet. 

It was Chris Rock that encouraged Wong and said that if she had children, she would become genuinely famous because most of America could then relate to her...because most of America is married with kids. This conversation changed Wong’s outlook and got her thinking about how being pregnant and breastfeeding could boost her career, instead of harm it. 

In the video below Wong mentions that her 2-year-old daughter wanted to suddenly return to her breasts...this is one especially funny example of Ali Wong’s work. 

"When the new baby came, my toddler was like, 'Mama, I want to drink milk from your boobies,'" Wong tells Ellen. "And I was like, 'The fact that you can complete that entire sentence disqualifies you. That, and your full set of teeth!'"

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  1. 17 year old breastfeeding - fantasy

    Aug 13, 18 04:34 PM

    I would never want anybody to know, but I often wish that I could still breastfeed. I would be mortified if anyone had to find out how I feel about it.

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